He still isn't old enough to play first base for the Orioles

(Picture of Ralph Nader announcing his candidacy in 2020)


Happy March everybody. I hope the Leap Year didn't make you too mixed up.

The Orioles started playing Spring Training games the other day. With that brought on our annual "Promising Oriole pitcher with a mysterious injury in March" announcement that I know we've all been waiting for.
Thats right, Troy "Old Blood and Guts" Patton has come down with a shoulder injury that he has been suffering from for the last 4 months. This is great for the O's, since they traded for him THREE months ago. Peter Angelos makes his players go through a day long physical before they join the team. So they can afford to do a colonoscopy, but can't bother too look at a guys shoulder that happen to be torn?

This spring also brought us another almost annual disappointing announcement. Ralph Nader will be running for President for a 4th time in 2008! America's favorite 74 year old pest.
He thinks America may finally be crazy enough for a liberal presidency. Seat belts on planes weren't enough, he wants to be your next leader of the free world!
I think he has finally gone senile though. According to this interview with the Village Voice, one of his campaign promises is impeaching George Bush and Dick Cheney.

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Village Voice: Do you still think impeachment is worth pursuing?

Ralph: Of course. We have two outlaws in the White House, recidivists, who have committed more impeachable offenses, regularly and daily, than any presidency in history. And they get away with it. It’s such an upside-down world. These guys have violated the FISA Act repeatedly, surveillance without a judicial warrant, that’s a felony. That’s a five-year maximum jail term. They do it regularly. Now they want to change the law so they can get away with it. The systemic torture, the violation of federal law as well as the Geneva Convention, a criminal, unconstitutional war in Iraq. We’ve got arrests of thousands of people without charges, throwing them in jail without lawyer. In the U.S., we’re talking about. And yet Chairman Rep. John Conyers of the House Judiciary Committee refuses to even have a hearing, never mind an impeachment inquiry. And that’s where we’re at. We’re basically on the way to demonstrating that presidents can systemically violate the constitution and the laws of the land an get away with it

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Um, "Earth to Ralph!" You do realize that Bush and Cheney won't be in power anymore after this election, right? Making one of your campaign pledges that Bush and Cheney will be out of office is the equivalent of promising on New Year's Eve 2008 that the next day will be 2009. Its going to happen already. Get that hanging chad out of your brain.

I wouldn't mind seeing him vs Dennis Kucinich in an over the top battle royale for sanity at WrestleMania. (Love how it all ties together)

Okay everyone, keep on rockin'!

Its all about the Game and how you play it.

Hello y'all. Its an alright time in sports. NASCAR is back. The NBA and NCAA hoops seasons are starting to heat up. Spring Training is beginning and of course Roger Clemens is being investigated by the government for perjury.

Yes, this is the same Federal government that is dealing with sky rocketing gas prices, a war on terror, and a coming recession. You go FBI! You nail that 45 year old ex-pitcher and his moron trainer. You're making America safer.

Clearly however, the most important sports event in America is fast approaching. No not the Superbowl, March Madness, or the World Series. Nope I'm talking about the Grandaddy of them all WrestleMania!

Thats right folks, its going to be huge, and unlike the Orioles this year, you don't know whats going to happen. Michaels-Flair, Undertaker-Edge, Cena, Triple H, and Orton in a three way dance. And for the celebrity involvement, Floyd "Money" Mayweather taking on The Big Show.

Thats right the 5-5 145 pound Mayweather will be taking on the 7-0 360 pound Big Show. Hell I'd take on a giant to in order to get paid 20 million. He better start juicing now.

Its going to be at the Citrus Bowl in Orlando with 80,000 people in attendance. The cheers will be louder, the pyro bigger, and the juice syringes bigger.

Best of all, Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee will be having an amnesty on a pole match.

Well thats all I have for now. I'll stop dreaming and look at real sports for the next few posts.
Hmm guys fighting or watching the Orioles lose 95 games. Thats a real tough choice.

Congress dealing with clearly the most important issue facing the county.

For the 68th straight day Roger Clemens and his arch nemesis Reality, I mean Brian McNamee continued on their horse and pony show through Congress. Can anyone explain to me why Congress had to step in and completely rehash the whole steroids issue? I thought that was done back when Raffy and the gang were before Congress. People got yelled at. Changes were made. The issue was solved.

Now we have this? A 68 year old pitcher running around government buildings trying to reverse what his former hired help is saying about him? This isn't advancing the cause of getting rid of performance enhancing drugs. All this is doing is wasting tax payer's money and the time of Congressmen who should be trying to figure out how to secure our borders and keep the dollar from becoming worthless, not worrying about if a former player used drugs 8 years ago. Clemens went from a fat guy with three chins by the end of his Boston career to looking like Brock Lesnar overnight with Toronto. "Gee, I wonder how that happened?" Everyone was doing it then. Its time to close the door on that era and stop opening it up.

This stupid, irrelevant steroid investigation is taking longer to finish then the Erik Bedard trade.
That thing has been going on since the Reagan administration. Bedard will be as old as Clemens by the time he ever actually throws a pitch for the Mariners. I can't wait for the baseball games to actually begin. I miss my Frank TV ads.

Take it easy everyone. Remember, if someone wants to inject, you must reject.

Romney drops out. Expected to change mind in 2 days

Well folks the political process has sure became alot clearer on the Right side of things since I've been gone. Away with my boy Tancredo. Away with Thompson. Away with Rudy. and now away with Mitt.

Huckabee will be soon to follow since he has been running for Vice President all along. Paul will probably running as 4th party candidate after Bloomberg, so expect some more money bombs to go off for him.

So it looks like its going to be Mr. Straight Talk himself John McCain, as the next Republican nominee. I hear Mayflower Moving and Storage will be relocating to Mexico just to get a jump on business since border hopping is about to pick up no matter if Mac or Obamaillary get elected.

McCain will be 72 years old by the time inauguration rolls around. Being elected President was the 8th item on his bucket list. Even his 92 year old mother thinks McCain is old as hell. Don Rickles will probably be the main entertainment at the convention. It came down to him or Garrison Keillor.

But its going to be a fun race. Seems like the Democrats will never decide a winner. Obama and Billary are neck and neck. However, Obama does have a huge fund raising edge. Hillary even had to ask Mitt Romney for money, it got so bad.

How about that Super Bowl, huh?

I'd like to introduce you to our newest Throne contributor: Mr Bill Belichick. He is going to be writing the final paragraph for us.

Well it was a tough game. They made plays. We didn't. Hopefully next year..........................


Hey, what the hell Bill? You can't just walk off the blog before the paragraph is over! Show a little class. I guess I'll have to wrap it up myself. Its a pleasure to be back y'all. feel free to comment to your heart's content.

Theres only one Lord Elevation's Throne.